January 15, 2009
Would you willingly ingest a tapeworm?
How about a guinea worm?*
*The guinea worm is a parasite that grows up to three feet long in your body before emerging from one of your lower extremities. The point of exit is an excruciatingly painful open sore and the worm can take up to several months to fully exit the body.
No f’ing way. I didn’t even have to think about this one. If there is anything that freaks me out totally it’s parasitic life forms possibly living inside my body. Also, I saw a nature show on one of those awesome, nerdy cable channels that was basically all about Americans who’ve traveled abroad to really buggy places and unknowingly brought home living creatures in their bodies and it was disgusting and now, I don’t care how many people I have the potential to help, I would never, ever join the Peace Corps. Also, there’s this footage of a worm hanging out in this woman’s head and frankly, how could you ever look at someone the same way after you see something like that? I mean, the chances I will ever meet this woman are small but if I did, I’d never be able to look at her without thinking, “You had worms living in your head. Once a worm head, always a worm head.” C’est le gross.
So, no on this one for me. Not for $1,000,000. Maybe for $10,000,000, for the tapeworm. There’s no price you could put on the guinea worm, though. No price.
If you were expecting a heated debate on this one, then you’ve got another thing coming. Who in their right mind would argue for ingesting a guinea worm and dealing with the after-effects? Were you not paying attention above? Kali and I often wonder about questions that (for whatever reason) cross the line into “absolutely not” territory, and I think this may be one of them. Concerning the guinea worm, anyway… A tapeworm? I dunno. Perhaps I could be persuaded. At the very least, due to their noted weight loss properties, I’d save some money on my gym membership. Then again, parasites. Ew. Ew. I’ve seen They Came From Within, and I have no desire to play “host.”
Can I just add something? This.