For $1,000,000…

March 9, 2009


Would you live the rest of your life with hooves instead of hands and feet?

How about a pig snout?


Wha –?

No. Not for any amount of money.

Now, good day, sir!!!

– Kali

This dare reminds me of that terrible Christina Ricci movie, Penelope, in which she sports a snout in order to teach us a lesson about inner beauty: You don’t judge books by their covers, even if they happen to be strangely deformed. It also reminds me of one of the best-ever Twilight Zone episodes, Eye of the Beholder, which likewise strives to impress upon the viewer the fact that standards of physical attractiveness are completely arbitrary. Now, be that as it may, there’s still no way in hell that I’d say yes. Maybe it’s shallow, but I say that living the rest of your life as a bona fide freak isn’t worth the money. Though I’m sure many employment opportunities would exist in freakshows and circuses around the world, I’d prefer to preserve what dignity I have left.

– Lauren


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