For $1,000,000…

March 25, 2009


Would you have your ears permanently increased to Mickey Mouse proportions? You’ll still be able to hear just fine.

Oh god, this would be horrible. Especially to look at. In fact, every imaginable variant is just an effin’ nightmare. Maybe your ears would be Mickey Mouse sized but — with the cartilage stretched to such lengths — they’d lose all form and you’d end up with these floppy elephant ear things hanging sadly off your head (which would technically make them Dumbo ears, I guess). Or, in another vision, your ears would turn into cartoon-mouseish gigantic discs, but somehow they would retain their shape, so that you’d have these massive, plate-sized things flanking your face (which they would approximate in size). Or maybe they’d really be exact replicas of Mickey Mouse’s ears — the same gigantic size and positioned so they sit, literally, atop your head. In any case, the mental image is super scary and weird and disgusting and freakshow. No, no, no for me on this. And it’s for the rest of your life?!? I’m not going out like that.

– Kali

No, but thanks for asking.

– Lauren


One Response to “For $1,000,000…”

  1. alantru Says:

    I think I’d look good with mouse ears. I read in “Rodent Weekly” that big ones atract the female mice… Hmmm, is there an actual term for “female mice”?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: